Into the Labyrinth

The walls are always changing, always moving. Nothing stays constant and it is all a mess. One wall jumps to a different section, leaving this gaping hole, making the way home impossible.
It's dizzying, it's maddening, it's unrelenting. Each corner taken leads to a mystery place, and everything is RACING. So quick, so wicked, so Hateful! Gasping for breath, begging for a stopping point, anywhere to stop and regain your bearings.
It's all so manic, it's all so endless, and when the end is found pain is the only reward.
(Sally and Readers)

Labyrinth could describe Holden's rant with Sally. His mind is rushing, is racing and everything spills out of him in those bursts of words and half-baked thoughts. "Well, I hate it. Boy, do I hate it" I said "But it isn't just that. It's everything. I hate living in New York and all. Taxicabs, and Madison Avenue buses, with the drivers and all always yelling at you to get out the rear door, and being introduced to phony guys..." And this madness continues. This spilling of thoughts. But it shows what he hates so much! It starts to reveal the why. In the next few chapters, where this rant continues you discover that technology and these strict regiments in society are the things destroying him. He's sick of school, sick of all the "phonies", sick of the cars and movies and yelling. If he did go on to college everything would change, he'd have plans he'd be prepared for things, yet he'd be stuck to these ideas of old times of old ways. He'd have to provide for everything, he would be more cautious and everything would change.
Holden doesn't stay consistent, and he is so hateful and manic. It is almost sickening to read, but all these bouts of frantic thoughts and actions...let us see his struggles, what he's fighting against. I hope that it has all made sense...

The Hardest thing in Adolescence

For the social butterflies out there, feel free to disagree with what I'm about to say. And for those introverts, soft-spoken ones, and weirdlings out in cyber space I think you'll agree. Communicating is difficult! Do you find yourself stumbling for words to say, thinking of what everyone else will think and therefore not speaking at all because of fear? Communicating is difficult, is scary, is necessary.
Holden is having his fare share of trouble with words and people. If you think about it you never know how someone might react, perhaps after knowing them for a few months or years you might predict things, but new people? What if you say one wrong thing, will they hate you forever, will they judge all your actions based on that one stupid slip of the tongue? That sounds like Holden, judging everything off of first impressions. But perhaps that's a defense mechanism for him, perhaps he's trying to judge them before they judge him!
But you can see his struggle with others, but he so desperately wants to be around people, to talk to them, to have a intelligent conversation. He tries being generous with new people, and he is interested in them, in their life outside of work; but he says something negative to ruin it, or begins on one of his spirals. Isn't it terrifying? Isn't communication a challenge?

Focusing on the Negatives

Is the world in black & white?

Is there good, is there bad?

What is wrong, what is right?

Can only one man decide,

whose life to spare, and who is to die?

Do will kill, do we maim?

Do we discriminate within our own kind?

Can we live with the choices we make?

Can we live with lives we take?

The world is full of negatives; negative affects, negative actions, negative words, negative attitude. And on top of all the negatives, there are flaws which when pointed out, can be negative. Holden Caulfield, is an expert at finding all of the small flaws in everyone, and when does that he makes them bigger than they are.

Imagine every little aspect of your being, all your flaws and redeeming qualities. Now take some critical and observant person like Holden, and no matter how many good qualities you have, every tiny flaw will be blown up to mask the accomplishments. Holden is like a jewel appraiser, he notices every small flaw. He hardly ever seems to find the good in people. Even Ernie, someone who he says is an amazing pianist, Holden calls out his lack of humility; how he's stuck up. And later in that chapter as he's sitting at his table, he mentally breaks down all the happy couples around him into pathetic phonies and ugly people.

Every time Holden begins to judge others, or chalks up and blows up every little flaw... you have to begin to wonder. Why does he do this? No wonder he seems such a pessimist if all he can see in others (excluding his younger siblings and Jane) are their flaws. He focuses so much on the negatives he's probably already missed plenty of good moments. I know Holden sees the world as more than black and white, but when he starts to get critically I start to wonder if every thing's clear cut to him. Then my next question is why? Is it force of habit? Could it go back to Allie, since his death he can't see the good in others? Is it from the overwhelming occurrence of phonies? Regardless, he focuses too much on the negatives.

Little Caulfields

Holden cares a lot about his little siblings. When he described Allie he had nothing negative to say about him, and when he described Phoebe there were only a few negatives he had to say. You could hear the love in his words when he described those two. They are truly dear to him, and he can trust them. "You'd like her. I mean if you tell old Phoebe something, she knows exactly what the hell you're talking about. I mean you can even take her anywhere with you." Can't you hear that. He's proud and impressed with her. But he never sounds that way when he talks about D.B. He always says that D.B. "prostitutes" himself, and that he isn't very thrilled about him.
One thing you could infer about this is that he cares about youngsters, and that he looses respect for those older than him. Perhaps he thinks those that are young, are sweeter, more innocent, maybe even naive. Or perhaps he thinks they hold insight that the older folk loose because of all the stress to make lots of money and be successful. But no matter how you look at it, or what inferences you make, Holden loves his younger siblings; Phoebe and especially Allie.

Struggles of Transition

Holden Caulfield, like all of us, is at an awkward moment in life when adulthood is at his heels but he really want to be a kid still. I feel this way too. I'm trying to find a job, because it will be important to and will look good when I'm applying for jobs in the future, but I'm struggling. You have to be assertive, you have to be persistent to the point of being perceived as an..."annoying" person. And getting a job is a very adult thing, but I'm struggling. Half of me just wants to keep living off of allowance, desperately wishing there was a house project I could work on to pay of my debt to my mom. With school I feel the same way, I have two more years until college and I'm all on my...it's kind of scary and it freaks me out. So I'm struggling in ways similar to Holden, however I feel he is more adult than I am acting.
The reason I feel Holden acts like an adult, is because he is on his own. Though running away is childish, the fact that he knows where to go and has a general idea of what to do makes him seem mature. He also takes responsibility for some several of his actions; though his immediate responses are childish, when he thinks things over afterward he sort of admits that he was wrong (like when he lies to people). I think he's pushing himself towards adulthood, but he's still childish. He's still scared, but...I think he's trying to suppress that or something. Sometimes he acts mature, but the thoughts raging inside are sometimes childish, but I think he's close to acting like an adult. (though what adults act like adults? the majority I know act like kids ^ ^)

The Affects of Allie

After the class discussion on Thursday, I began to wonder just how much Allie's death impacted Holden. We may learn just how far much this tragic event changed Holden, but from what I've read so far I've come to some conclusions. I believe Jyothi (or Keiran) was the one that brought up how Holden didn't feel good enough, he spoke of his brother in such a positive light, he never said anything negative about Allie. So perhaps since he died he never thought he was good enough, not good enough for his parents or anything. Maybe Holden lost his confidence too, like how he really wanted to catch up with Jane, but he "wasn't in the mood". I feel that since Allie died Holden doesn't know how to react to things or how to keep moving in a productive way. He said to Old Spencer that he had taken the same English course at the last school he was at and that was why he wasn't failing here; but maybe he's excelling at English because of Allie. Allie's mitt had poems all over, and maybe literature is a way for Holden to feel close to his brother again. Those are my thoughts on the impact of Allie, and it is a little jumbled and mashed together, but they're just a rough sketch.

Sympathy, Empathy, Judgement?

In some instances I feel empathy for Holden. In chapter two, when he's talking to Old Spencer he doesn't know how he feels, or whether he even feels anything about being expelled. Though I've never been expelled, I have been in several situations where things are downright bad/sad, but I don't know what I feel, or whether I even feel anything. In chapter five he talks about not knowing what he was thinking after his brother died, and I have had those moments. I don't want to go in depth what situations I've felt that way about, because...well they're things I would only want to share with people I'm close to or those in my family. But I've had rough times when all those around me have very defined feelings and thoughts...they're angry, sad, ashamed, betrayed; but I didn't know what I felt or if I felt anything. So I can empathize with Holden a little. Because I know that feeling of...what am I feeling, if anything?